my baum shelter

So, I have been totally MIA from blogging as our world has been consumed with big life decisions.

Fred has accepted a new job in Oklahoma City, so we’re moving back there after four years away. It’s been a roller coaster ride over the past month. My plans have gone from spending the summer stuck in bar review class every day (I was scheduled to take the Texas Bar Exam at the end of July), to spending my days researching neighborhoods and packing up boxes.

This was a really difficult decision for us since Fred loves a lot about his current job, especially his colleagues and staff. But, in the end, it came down to family time. Fred’s current job just can’t give him the hours needed to have time for anything else. This morning, he calculated that the hours with the new job plus the extra vacation offered at the new job would give him over 75 extra days a year. That’s over two months! When we think about the hours, we are downright giddy. I can’t even wrap my mind around the thought of Fred getting home consistently before 9pm, let alone home by 5:30pm every night!

 But, there were a lot of downsides to this decision, too. Namely, we’re moving further away from all our family and are leaving some very special friends here in Fort Worth. Also, words cannot even begin to express how much we’ll miss our church here. We are pretty certain there is not another one out there that is as perfect a fit and the friendships we’ve made there will be really hard to leave.

We are so thankful that since a move was the best choice for our family that we are moving back to a city we know and love. It will be great to reconnect with old friends in OKC and easier on so many fronts – like, I’m licensed in Oklahoma, so no bar exam! Another good thing is we won’t move until September, which gives us plenty of time to get our house on the market, look for a new house, pack, and most importantly, say good-bye to friends here.

And while we’ve been in the throes of big decision-making, babyBaum has found his independence streak and the word “no” seems to be a challenge he just can’t resist. His face is constantly marred by a bruise or cut because he believes he can climb any structure regardless of its height or ability to hold him. Constant bruises and cuts do not seem to dissuade him. I haven’t quite decided if that’s a good sign (he’s persistent and determined) or a bad sign (he’s a little slow on the uptake when it comes to cause and effect).

For those of you going through babyBaum withdrawal, here’s a recent pic of him on the swings at the local park ~

In yesterday’s post, I completely forgot to include a link to The Civility Project, a grassroots movement comprised of conservatives and liberals and religious and secular individuals who pledge to be civil in their discussions/disagreements/general behavior toward one another.

From the Project’s homepage, you can make your own civility pledge and invite your friends (via email, Facebook, etc.) to do likewise.

A few days ago, prominent church leaders, including the more politically conservative Chuck Colson and more politically liberal Jim Wallis, came together and signed a Civility Covenant. So far, over a hundred leaders of various churches and denominations have signed the Covenant. You can read the full text of the Covenant here.

Among other things, signers of the Covenant pledge:

• To be quick to listen and slow to anger
• To respect and honor others, all of whom are made in God’s image and are deserving of respect and honor
• When disagreeing with another’s viewpoint, to do so with humility, gentleness, and patience without attacking others’ characters or impugning their motives
• To be mindful of the language they use in disagreements – that the language used is neither arrogant nor boastful
• To be mindful that we all live in one community and to be truthful
• To pray for unity with those with whom we disagree
• To model a better way of treating one another across religious and political lines

I have become increasingly disheartened at the lack of civility in our country but even more alarmed at the lack of civility I have found among people I know and love. When you see people in angry mobs on the news shouting racial slurs at their Congressman simply because they disagree with how they voted on a particular piece of legislation, it’s disturbing enough. But, lately, I’ve seen multiple Facebook posts and youtube or email forwards full of hate and vitriol by people I know — and worse, yet, by people who I know claim to love God.

Actual examples of Facebook comments posted by friends of mine or Fred’s this past week alone have included:

• a “call to arms” and request to join a petition to “take whatever action necessary to secede from the current tyranny of leadership” (umm, if the person who posted this is reading, you may want to beware of FBI agents coming your way . . . I’m just sayin’.)
• a comment that Obama’s signing of the health insurance reform bill is an evil at least as evil, if not greater, than the evils perpetuated by Hitler and Stalin when they ordered and enforced the murders of over 12 million innocent men, women, and children
• a “Right on, Rush!” comment with a link to Rush Limbaugh’s statement comparing Nancy Pelosi to Osama bin Laden as she is no different than those who convince others to put bombs on their kids

Don’t get me started on the youtube forwards (again, sent by people we know) of Hitler idolizing Obama or the one which discusses how Obama has reneged on his campaign promises, so perhaps his moniker should be Reneger (if you don’t catch the intended offensiveness, sound it out in your head).

I have to believe these friends’ words and actions begin with a good motive – perhaps they feel they need to stand up for what is right according to their convictions or perhaps they feel they can’t let the “other guys” walk all over them like a doormat. I truly am at a loss as to how pure hatred by people who claim to love God gets started; though it’s been occurring for centuries, so perhaps I should finally get over that shock.

I will admit to a recent Facebook purge because it is just too difficult for me to continually read these highly offensive comments, though I did respond to the offensive comments and listen back before de-friending. I just am too emotional. I get angry, but I also get sad and shed tears and yell my outrage to Fred (poor Fred). These kind of hateful comments are just too hard for me to handle. So, I took the time to purge by Facebook friends of people who spread hate as well as people whom I never talk to or have never initiated an actual conversation since friending me in the first place. I decided that even my social network friends should be actual friends – people who I share (or have shared) a connection with, who encourage me, or whom I simply like. And in doing so, I decided that my social network of friends did not need to include those I barely know, or those who are “friends” because we were friends of a friend 15 years ago in college, or those who get my blood boiling and make me yell at poor Fred.

So, where do we go from here? My personal response (at least with respect to my Facebook account) seems to be a stick-your-fingers-in-your-ear kind of approach, which doesn’t seem the most mature or effective means of finding common ground through civility. Yelling louder, meaner epithets when we hear something we do not like does not seem to be helping either side of the political divide. So, perhaps it is time we all take a stand. Perhaps it is time for each of us to speak up (Nicely! Civilly!) when others are disrespectful or hateful. Let us encourage one another to a better way of living and loving and co-existing. A way which does not resort to name-calling or any other such nonsense.

We used to know how to stand up for ourselves, argue our positions, disagree passionately, AND be civil, polite, and respectful. For those of you who say you love God: does your love of God hold any place of relevance when it comes to how you view and treat your political enemies? It seems that “the gloves are off” as they say and that a lot of Christians are happy to finally be viewed as the “tough guys.” Yeah, it would suck if we were compared to that loving, peaceful, humble guy with the long hair. What was his name again???

While we were in Little Rock, babyBaum decided it was time to start walking more than two steps at a time. Brace yourselves for this exciting update: he now walks about 10-15 steps at a time! I unsuccessfully tried several times to capture his walking on video. While we were picnicking at the Little Rock Zoo, he became enamored with all the sticks and tree branches on the ground. Armed with all the tree branches they could hold, his two cousins and his Aunt Anna encouraged him to walk, while I cheered him on with video camera in hand. Finally, what you’ve all been waiting for - a successful video of some of his first steps:

Fast Tube by Casper

This second video is from the same day. Oftentimes, Fred will hoist babyBaum onto his shoulders when we’re out walking. Lately, babyBaum has taken to grabbing two fistfuls of Fred’s hair and using these tufts of hair as his reins to hang on and pull Fred in the direction he wants to go. So cute but so glad it’s Fred’s hair he’s doing this to and not mine!

Fast Tube by Casper

 We’re vacationing in Little Rock this week and are having a great time! We enjoyed the Little Rock Zoo this morning and I finally captured babyBaum walking on video. I’ll post it later along with some great pics of babyBaum with his cousins and Aunt Anna.

So, today’s poll ~

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I can’t believe I haven’t talked about this before on the blog, especially since it is a part of my life that I love so much! One of the things that fills some of my days each week is a ministry in our church called the May Street Market. I volunteer as the Volunteer Coordinator of the Market, but I think that title makes my role sound much more important than it actually is. The truth is, the church staff of our Baptist Center, Dan Freemyer and Judi Glover, do all the hard work for this ministry and all the other Baptist Center ministries.

One of the reasons Fred and I fell quickly in love with our church was its commitment to people PERIOD. No conditions at all. They love people – all people, no matter what. Our church is located near downtown Fort Worth and there is a large homeless population as well as a large population of families on welfare or fixed incomes in our church’s neighborhood. As our new pastor, Brent Beasley, said in a sermon not too long ago ~ before coming to Broadway Baptist Church, he would see a homeless man walking the streets downtown and think, “oh, there’s a homeless man,” but after coming to Broadway, he sees a homeless man walking the streets downtown and thinks, “oh, there’s Jerry.” Our church membership is made up of a diverse group of families and I love that sitting next to a homeless person is not an unusual occurrence for us in our church.

Anyway, the May Street Market is one of the many ways our church serves our community. It’s a small grocery store (about 10 aisles) where families from our community can come “shop” for groceries once a month. I say “shop” because there is no charge for any of the items. They are allowed to take a certain number of items from each aisle based on the size of their family. We have upwards of 150 families that come through our Market each month and due to the economy, that number just seems to be growing and growing. What is remarkable to me, though, is the number of people who donate food and money keeps growing and growing, too.

There’s just something about serving others that allows me to see how interconnected we all are, why Love matters, and how real God is.

Dan preached about one of my favorite stories regarding the May Street Market a few months back. The whole sermon is terrific, but the part about the Market starts at the 11:40 mark. You can hear it here (it’s just under 7 minutes long).

As a follow-up to my earlier post ~

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I am what the medical profession politely calls a mother of advanced age. When you have your first baby at age 36 as opposed to age 26, trust me, there are many reminders that ten years makes a big difference when it comes to baby-rearing. So, I tend to shy away from saying things that will only highlight the fact that I’m the really old mom in the crowd. But, here goes – it really amazes me that most children are taught to address adults by their first names. Yes, call me old-fashioned, but I think that there should be clear lines between adults and children and using a formal title is an easy way to teach this to a child.

In this part of the country these days, the common practice is to teach one’s child to refer to adults as Mister/Miss (First Name), though plenty of people dispense with the Miss or Mister altogether. Of my many friends with children, almost all of them refer to me as Dionna or Miss Dionna. Even though it is strange to me to hear children addressing adults by their first name, it is certainly not anything that has ever offended me. I think every parent has the right to instill their own value system when it comes to manners. And, I certainly don’t feel disrespected simply because I’m not referred to as Mrs. Bierbaum. But, like I said, I’m the old one in the crowd and both Fred and I are old-fashioned, so when it comes to our kids, we’d like to teach them to use last names.

Fred was raised in a very Southern, very tiny town and always referred to the adults in his life as Mister/Miss (First Name). I was raised all over our fine country (but never in a tiny Southern town) and I, along with all my peers, always addressed the adults in our lives as Mr./Mrs./Ms. (Last Name). On the rare occasion when an adult would invite me to call them by their first name, my mother would later remind me that it wasn’t appropriate even when invited until I was an adult. Once I graduated high school, several friends’ parents then invited me to call them by their first names, since I “was an adult now.” At that point, I addressed them by their first names, but to this day it still feels a little funny to me.

Both Fred and I are more comfortable teaching our children to address adults by their last names with the only exception being family, in which case we use family names. Though, I’m considering changing my brother’s name from Uncle Chad to That Strange Man, as in ”babyBaum, don’t listen to that strange man - headbutting as a way of greeting is really not acceptable.” Let’s just say that I still can’t believe that my son has been successfully taught how to head butt at the tender age of one. But, I digress. 

I think everyone should be able to make whatever decisions are most comfortable for their family. However, I think our decision in this area will be very tricky since no one else we know does this. I envision potential awkwardness if our son’s friends address me as Dionna, but we teach him to address his friend’s mom as Mrs. Smith. You may be thinking to yourself right about now, Aren’t there more important (or at the very least, more entertaining) topics to mull over?  And I would say, 1) this is my blog so I get to mull over mundane issues such as this if I want; and 2) this has been on my mind because I keep seeing this topic discussed in various places. I even recently read that some states (Louisiana and another that is escaping my memory – old age, remember?) have enacted state-wide laws mandating that children in public schools use Mr./Mrs./Ms. + last names when addressing their teachers. Can you believe that the informality has become so entrenched that we have resorted to mandating by law the use of last names for teachers in public schools? The old woman in me thinks that is just plain crazy.

We shall see how this plays out when the time comes. I think that we should be able to pass along this seemingly old-fashioned, out-of-date tradition of address onto our children if we want, but I think we will come across as uppity or judgmental, which really isn’t the case at all.

In keeping up the theme with my earlier post ~

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I LOVE to read. Usually, I tend to stick to fiction of all type. I really love historical fiction and non-fiction accounts of historical events, too, and lately, it seems that is all I’ve been reading.

I recently finished reading The Lost City of Z: A Tale of Deadly Obsession by David Grann. I was really excited to read this book and really thought I would love it. I didn’t. The story is beyond fascinating – daring explorers, mysterious disappearances, ancient lost civilizations about to be found. You couldn’t ask for better material. David Grann is a staff writer for the New Yorker and stumbled upon the story of Percy Fawcett when he was researching another story. In the 1920’s, Percy Fawcett was an explorer of the Amazon on a quest to find evidence of an ancient, lost civilization deep in the heart of the Amazon which would prove that certain advancements such as pottery, roads, engineering, and mathematics were not brought to South America by the Europeans but existed long before their arrival. Fawcett never returned from his last final attempt to find the elusive City of Z and speculation about his fate has been brewing ever since. The author, Grann, got swept up into the mystery as well and decided to re-trace Fawcett’s last expedition in an attempt to discover answers about Fawcett last days and whether it was possible that the City of Z did in fact exsist.

The book weaves two stories together: the story of Percy Fawcett and the story of Grann’s expedition to the Amazon. Both of these stories are fascinating and I will say (without giving anything away) that the endings to both stories were extremely satisfying. But, the writing – or should I say, more accurately, the editing of this book is so poor that it really made it a difficult book for me. Even the fascination and curiosity surrounding this real-life mystery and wanting to know how it turned out was not enough to keep up my enthusiasm. I always finish books, even those I hate. So, I did trudge on to the end. But, it was true trudging. In the end, I was glad to learn the answers but wished I had just looked it up on wikipedia or something. Lots of people disagree with me as it currently has a four-star average review on Amazon, so it could just be me.

Brad Pitt has recently been cast to play Percy Fawcett in an upcoming movie based on this book and I actually think the movie will be excellent. I mean, it really is full of adventure and intrigue and both stories – the story of Percy Fawcett and the story of Grann – are equally fascinating. I think these stories will play out better on the big-screen than on the page. But, I think, with a better editor and with a structure which allowed these stories to flow more naturally, I would have fallen in love with this book.

Up Next on my Read List: The Mystery of Lewis Carroll: Discovering the Whimsical, Thoughtful, and Somtimes Lonely Man Who Created “Alice in Wonderland” by Jenny Woolf