my baum shelter

So, I have been totally MIA from blogging as our world has been consumed with big life decisions.

Fred has accepted a new job in Oklahoma City, so we’re moving back there after four years away. It’s been a roller coaster ride over the past month. My plans have gone from spending the summer stuck in bar review class every day (I was scheduled to take the Texas Bar Exam at the end of July), to spending my days researching neighborhoods and packing up boxes.

This was a really difficult decision for us since Fred loves a lot about his current job, especially his colleagues and staff. But, in the end, it came down to family time. Fred’s current job just can’t give him the hours needed to have time for anything else. This morning, he calculated that the hours with the new job plus the extra vacation offered at the new job would give him over 75 extra days a year. That’s over two months! When we think about the hours, we are downright giddy. I can’t even wrap my mind around the thought of Fred getting home consistently before 9pm, let alone home by 5:30pm every night!

 But, there were a lot of downsides to this decision, too. Namely, we’re moving further away from all our family and are leaving some very special friends here in Fort Worth. Also, words cannot even begin to express how much we’ll miss our church here. We are pretty certain there is not another one out there that is as perfect a fit and the friendships we’ve made there will be really hard to leave.

We are so thankful that since a move was the best choice for our family that we are moving back to a city we know and love. It will be great to reconnect with old friends in OKC and easier on so many fronts – like, I’m licensed in Oklahoma, so no bar exam! Another good thing is we won’t move until September, which gives us plenty of time to get our house on the market, look for a new house, pack, and most importantly, say good-bye to friends here.

And while we’ve been in the throes of big decision-making, babyBaum has found his independence streak and the word “no” seems to be a challenge he just can’t resist. His face is constantly marred by a bruise or cut because he believes he can climb any structure regardless of its height or ability to hold him. Constant bruises and cuts do not seem to dissuade him. I haven’t quite decided if that’s a good sign (he’s persistent and determined) or a bad sign (he’s a little slow on the uptake when it comes to cause and effect).

For those of you going through babyBaum withdrawal, here’s a recent pic of him on the swings at the local park ~

I don’t think parents talk much about the downsides to parenting. And believe me, there are some doozies. So, in an attempt to keep it real, let me share with you our little adventure last night.

This week has been much crazier than usual. It’s Fred’s call week, which basically translates into single-mother week at the Bierbaum household. And, I had a funeral to attend in Oklahoma on Tuesday. So, Fred traded call for Tuesday so that he wasn’t faced with the prospect of having to take Walt in with him should he get called to evaluate a kidney for transplantation. Such a call actually took place Monday evening (well, technically Tuesday morning at 3:00am) just hours before I left. So, Fred was pretty tired from his lack of sleep and he was on his own Tuesday evening. Naturally, that is when babyBaum came down with a stomach bug. I received a call from Fred early Tuesday evening ~

Fred: Are you coming back tonight or early tomorrow morning?

Me: Probably tonight.

Fred: Well, our son has projectile vomited on me three times in the last hour and we’ve taken three baths and, well, if you wanted to come home this evening, I wouldn’t have any objections to that.

So, I got back to Fort Worth around 12:30am and found both my boys passed out, sleeping from pure exhaustion. I really have a pretty sweet husband. Wednesday began just five and a half hours later with babyBaum cycling through a pattern of vomiting, diarrhea, and sleeping. Fred cut out to work at the first sign of daylight. Who could blame him, really? Cut to last night – babyBaum has been in bed sleeping for a few hours. I decide before we turn out the lights to go check on him one last time. I open his door and am overwhelmed by the stench. I run back to our room and tell Fred that we have a problem – I think our baby has actually exploded his insides all over the nursery.

We go back to the nursery for further investigation. At first, we keep the lights off. babyBaum is still sleeping soundly, oblivious to our presence. I reach to pat his bottom and feel gooey grossness. I tell Fred that I think we are dealing with some sort of diarrhea catastrophe. I roll babyBaum onto his back and feel sticky wetness all over the front of him. I tell Fred that I was wrong and that it appears to have been a vomiting catastrophe since it’s covering him from neck to toes. At that point we turned the lights on and all I can say is it looked like our son had rolled around in a pile of manure. Really soupy, gooey, DISGUSTING manure. Someone had to pick him up and as I already had made contact with that which made me want to vomit, it was up to me. So, I scooped him up, covering myself in his waste in the process. And that is when the shit really hit the fan. Really, you had to know that pun would be worked in here at some point, right?

Keep in mind that Fred and I were operating on little sleep at this point. Words were exchanged in heated tones while babyBaum kept cocking his head back and forth between the two of us with an amused smile as if we were putting on some sort of show for him. I suppose it was better for him to see it as a performance rather than the reality that his parents were on the verge of killing one another. I don’t remember all the details but I do remember Fred drawing a bath and wanting me to plop babyBaum into it and me (still covered in fecal matter, let’s remember) suggesting a shower would be more hygienic.

Fred: It’s not unhygienic to put him in a bath.

Me: I don’t want my son taking a bath in fecal water. I don’t see how that helps our situation.

I then remember him launching into a scientific discussion of fecal matter being parts per million of the water content, blah, blah, blah . . . me indicating that I was under the misguided impression that you were supposed to avoid fecal matter . . . he might have reminded me that he was the one with the medical degree . . . I might have reminded him more than once that he wasn’t the one holding the shit-covered baby . . . then,

Fred: Fine, I’ll drain the bath and YOU can give him a shower!

And then at precisely the same moment, two things occurred – my eyes narrowed with a glint that said, I dare you to leave me covered in yellow, runny, DISGUSTING poo to deal with this alone and his eyes widened with instant recognition that perhaps he should’ve uttered different words.

Fred: Um, or I’ll help you give him a shower. Or, I’ll give him a shower. All by myself!

I mean, really, it’s amazing that marriages survive having children. In the end, science triumphed over irrational fecal-related fears and babyBaum was bathed rather than showered. And, yes, I had to hear the parts per million explanation in detail again and yes, he was clean without any visible signs of contamination afterward. (Though, I still had my doubts as to non-visible contamination, but I’m not the one with the medical degree, so what do I know?)

I know at this point, some would say things like, but then babyBaum smiled at me right as I laid him back down on freshly changed sheets and it made me realize that it was all worth it. But, I’m not going to lie to you. It was horrifyingly disgusting and no amount of cute smiles or giggles or angelic faces made it anything but. So, if you’re ever in need of an effective birth control method, you could always bookmark this post. If only I had pictures or video, or better yet, scratch and sniff capabilities then I really would have an effective means of birth control to offer you.

We had a wonderful first Christmas with babyBaum.

It was a white Christmas which caused us to be apart from the rest of our family on Christmas Eve, but it was fun watching the snow come down with babyBaum.

The Deardorff family has a tradition spanning three generations of eating out at a Chinese restaurant on Christmas Eve. Each year at our Chinese dinner, we toast Grandpa Whitlock, my great-grandfather who started the tradition by sending my grandparents money for a Christmas Eve dinner. This year, due to the snow and unfriendly driving conditions, we decided not to make the hour-long drive to my parents on Christmas Eve, but we did brave the roads to eat at our nearest Chinese restaurant. It was just the three of us, but I’m glad we were able to share this tradition with babyBaum. This year, we toasted Grandpa Whitlock and Grandpa D (my dad).

On Christmas morning, we drove to my parents’ house – an hour long drive that took us two hours in the snow and ice.

babyBaum and his Grandpa and Nana who kindly got him a cute Santa suit

Presents! A huge stuffed caterpillar and a rocking horse are just a couple of the fun presents babyBaum received.

Hugs from Grandpa and kisses from Aunt Joni – babyBaum received lots of loving over Christmas!

babyBaum’s cousins received a cool tent for their bunkbed and one cousin kept trying to be like babyBaum and sit in his Bumbo seat.

Another long-standing Deardorff family tradition – a fierce game of Texas Hold ‘em. Yes, we play for money and yes, it can get a little ugly. This year, we had to initiate babyBaum to the ways of poker.

We had a wonderful Cajun-style Christmas dinner prepared by my sister-in-law Joni: Cajun Turducken, Jumbalaya, Shrimp Burgers, Corn Casserole and more.

The day after Christmas, we met up with the other side of our family and were able to hang with the other cousins. Whereas, the Deardorff cousins are all boys, the Myers (Bierbaum) cousins are all girls. So, on day one, this was pretty much his cousins’ reactions to him -

On day two, however, he was showered with cousin love from all the girls who like to “take care of him.” It’s amazing to see the differences between the girls and the boys at such a young age.

Day two we spent with Fred’s sister Anna, her husband David and their girls and David’s sister and her family. We indulged in many hours of Rock Band and Fred has decided that he really missed out on his calling as a drummer. There was a lot of footage taken that we hope does not make it to youtube. We also indulged in way too much food and ended the day with a rousing game of Monopoly – which Fred won.

All in all, we enjoyed a really wonderful Christmas. Hope yours was wonderful, too!

Our little babyBaum is changing so much every day that it really is hard to keep up with everything. I feel like I should have a camera strapped to me at all times. Our little baby boy who, less than two months ago, couldn’t crawl if his little life depended on it is on the verge of walking – WALKING. Hello milestone, goodbye life.

He walks with his walker toy without any help from us and today without warning tried to take his first step without holding onto anyone or anything. He tried to take a step from his walker toy to the ottoman and fell hard on his bum in the process. (But, he didn’t cry because Fred is teaching him to be a manly boy. Totally kidding.)

He mimics our every facial expression, sound, and movement. He says mama and means me, he says dada and means Fred, he says ba-ba when he waves (for bye-bye), and he shakes his head for no. He claps and waves when the baby in his favorite book claps and waves. And, today, he rolled his eyes at Fred when daddy was kissing on him too much for his liking. He has been such a little sponge these past several months and now suddenly, all that information is coming out at us. And while it is so much fun watching him mimic us and learn how to do and say new things through imitation, it’s a little unsettling as well. After all, I think we can all guess who he got the eye-rolling from!

These three videos were all shot this weekend (they’re all short). This is babyBaum with his daddy:

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Here’s babyBaum walking with his new walker toy. It has woodpeckers that click-clack when he walks. I point this out for reasons that will become obvious during the next video. Though he walked with it all weekend, he became quite distracted when I pulled out the video camera. This was the best I could get.[kaltura-widget wid="9sha1cp4t4" width="410" height="364" addpermission="3" editpermission="3" /]

Just hours after his first walk with the woodpeckers, babyBaum started doing this:[kaltura-widget wid="xd7pzqx4bg" width="410" height="364" addpermission="3" editpermission="3" /]

See? Sponge.

[kaltura-widget wid="u0z35k62b8" width="410" height="364" addpermission="3" editpermission="3" /]It’s ridiculous how easily entertained Fred and I get at elfing ourselves each year. This is our third year and we were excited that we now have babyBaum to add to our dance routine. The first year we went with the Classic Elf Dance and last year we went with the Disco Elf Dance, so, of course, this year we had to go with Hip Hop. 

Enjoy!

 You can Elf Yourself here. It’s very easy to do – you can email your dancing elf-self, with access for a limited time, or you can purchase a download of your video for $4.99.

I know this post will make Fred and I sound like nutcases to some of you out there and I initially hesitated writing this post because it can be a pretty controversial topic (just look at the comments to this post), like so many parenting and mothering topics out there tend to unfortunately be. We’re not really potty-training babyBaum, but babyBaum does use the toilet to relieve himself on a regular basis as the result of our practicing elimination communication.

I first heard about elimination communication right before we got pregnant on a news program. I thought it was the craziest thing I had ever heard. I didn’t see the whole news story, only the last half. They showed moms holding their newborn infants over the toilet while the babies went to the bathroom. To be honest, my judgmental self filed this in the same category as breastfeeding 5 year olds: something way too alternative and out there for me to give much consideration. Then I became pregnant and I came across the topic of elimination communication again in a pregnancy magazine at my doctor’s office. I became more intrigued – at first, my intrigue was akin to that of studying a foreign people or country. But then, the more I learned, the more some of the core concepts of elimination communication resonated with me.

There are many websites, blogs, and articles discussing what elimination communication is. You can check them out here or here or you can do your own google search. There are also books, the ones I’ve read include Diaper Free, The Diaper Free Baby and Infant Potty Training. Despite my post title, EC is not really about potty training a baby in the traditional sense of that phrase. It simply views peeing and pooping like any other necessary function of life for a newborn - like eating, sleeping, etc. EC advocates that babies are capable of (and do) communicate with us when they need to “eliminate” much the same way they do when they need to eat or sleep. By paying attention to these signals, we can offer them the chance to relieve themselves in the toilet, rather than in a diaper. “CRAZY!”, you say? Well, all I can say in response is my nine-month old baby uses the toilet daily to relieve himself when pooping. Read all the details of how we discovered EC and how we use EC part-time at our house after the jump . . . .

Continue reading

Last week, we left for San Francisco to visit my brother Cliff and sister-in-law April. It was supposed to be a relaxing time of catching up, sightseeing, and just, well, relaxing. After working waaay too many hours the past few weeks, Fred was really looking forward to some time off and to some relaxation. As you know, the bathroom flooded the day before we left which resulted in me getting only 4 hours of sleep the night before we left because I was up all night packing  (it’s kind of hard to pack during the day when you are dealing with bathrooms flooding). And, then babyBaum contracted what we thought was pink eye but now know was just a really nasty virus that decided to leave an ear infection on its way out. However, we were still hopeful and determined to have a nice, albeit, short vacation. We should’ve realized that the floods and pink eye and huge rock that hit and cracked my windshield while driving to get antibiotics for said pink eye were all omens telling us to just stay put in Texas. But, we didn’t listen.

While we did get in some very good hanging out time with Cliff and April (and my parents, who were also there visiting) and while we did get to see Alcatraz, pretty much everything else about our short vacation was anything but fun or relaxing. babyBaum’s really nasty virus and resulting ear infection caused him to have 103+ degree fevers and made him anything but happy (or sleepy). Fred and I also caught whatever virus he had, causing me to lose my voice entirely. A fact that pleased my brother and Fred a little too much for my liking. And, though my voice is still gone, at least I have the powerful internet through which to speak!

We didn’t have a chance to get in much sightseeing, but we did manage to squeeze in a trip to Alcatraz, which was really pretty fascinating and provided an excellent opportunity for a good old-fashioned teaching moment for babyBaum. Luckily, I had packed just the right outfit for him. We decided a little time in stripes behind bars might be just what he needed to evaulate his behavior. His crime? Knowingly putting a toy in his mouth that had moments before been in the mouths of virus-infected daycare associates.

Here he is daydreaming of the days pre-incarceration -

And, finally, he rages against the injustice, screaming, “I swear, Mom, I didn’t know the rattle was infected before I put it in my mouth!” At this point, we felt sorry for him and felt our message had gotten through to him, so we let him out.

Back at Cliff and April’s place, babyBaum decided to befriend their dog, Aries, a Greyhound they rescued a few years back. Aries has to be the most patient dog I have ever seen. babyBaum was intent on grabbing his nose and dog collar tags (while tugging as hard as he could) as much as possible, all while Aries just sat looking amused. I’m afraid that the next dog babyBaum comes across will not be as acommodating when babyBaum tries to squeeze its nose or rip off its dog tags.

We are back in Texas and babyBaum is on the mend, while Fred and I are feeling pretty miserable. Poor Fred goes back to work tomorrow, feeling anything but rested and refreshed. But, we are both very glad to put this “vacation” behind us.

Last week, I posted how my friend Sarah and her husband Michael run a farm in Keller, Texas. On Saturday, we took babyBaum out to the farm to see the Pumpkin Patch. There has been a ton of rain here lately, so the ground was too wet for a hayride, but we got to walk through the pumpkins and see the animals – chickens, horses, and goats. babyBaum did not like the goats at all. He was totally enthralled by the chickens, however – I guess because they are more his size. Michael gave us a tour of the barn and milking facilities and showed us how they milk the goats and bottle the milk each day. As city folk, we were fascinated!

Here are some pics (please disregard the huge hole in Fred’s pullover)-

The top 5 signs you’ve never had a baby with colic:

1. You use the term colicky as a synonym for fussy. [Babies with colic aren't colicky - they suffer from colic.]

2. You say things like, “I remember when little Johnny had colic – whew, sometimes, he could really cry!” and you end with a chuckle or smile.  [I don't care how long ago your little Johnny was born - if he really had colic, there would be no smiles or chuckles associated with that memory. No amount of time erases the terror.]

3. When you learn of a friend with a baby who has colic, you respond with pretty much anything other than, “Okay, when is his usual crying time? I’ll be over every Monday and Wednesday to relieve you during that time. Don’t worry, we’ll get through this together.” [No survivor of colic would offer anything less.]

4. You offer up very well-meaning pieces of advice like, “the baby can sense when you’re stressed, so try to relax” or, “try soaking him in a lavender bath to calm him down before bedtime.” [Trust me, if lavender worked, parents of babies with colic would be living in a field of lavender until the colic was gone.]

5. You compare a baby’s colic with things like a bad diaper rash or teething - “Oh, gosh, colic, that’s horrible. I know how you feel – right now, we’re struggling with {insert diaper rash or teething story} and it’s so hard.” [It's probably better that I let this one stand on it's own without any commentary.]

So, onto Reason Number Two: Colic. One of the reasons that it is so unbelievable to me that we’ve made it to this milestone of 8 months is that we’re so blissfully, sickeningly happy. I finally have discovered that mystical mother-child connection with my son. I genuinely enjoy him and being his mother. And, while to most of you, this may seem like a place at which you just naturally arrive once you become a mother, for me that was not the case. So, to finally be here feels, well, magical.

More, after the jump. Continue reading

I’m Dionna and this is my blog. It’s primarily a product of boredom but it’s also my way of trying to stay in touch with people. Oh, and be heard by the whole entire world! I’m not very good at Facebook and can’t ever imagine Twittering? Tweeting? because I believe there should never be limits put on how many words I can use at any given time. So, I created my own blog – with no word limits.

I am married to a pathologist named Fred. It’s not as creepy as it sounds. Well, maybe on the days when he comes home and I start to hand him our baby and he responds with, “Oh – wait, let me go wash my hands and change my clothes real quick. I grossed in a placenta today and may still have some bits of it on me.” Yeah, that’s a little creepy. But, you get used to it.

We currently live in Fort Worth, Texas. We have one child, a baby boy born in February 2009, whom shall forever be referred to in this blog as babyBaum. Not original, I know; however, the Baum part as in BOMB(n): an explosive device fused to detonate under specified conditions could not be a more accurate description of my little bundle of joy.

I’m currently a quasi-SAHM (Stay At Home Mom) who is desperate to go back to the land of the working. I was an attorney not so long ago and hope to get back to it soon. In the meantime, I delicately handle babyBaum so as to avoid detonation and volunteer as a Coordinator for a food pantry which operates through my church, the fabulous Broadway Baptist Church. It fills some of my days and a lot of my heart and soul - unlike babyBaum, who fills up all of my days, including the nights, and all of my heart and soul.

So, welcome to my blog. It remains to be seen whether this will be at all entertaining or interesting. Or how many times I embarrass or tick off Fred for over-sharing. Not that me over-sharing is an issue in our marriage. Because if I confirmed that, then I would clearly be over-sharing.

One last note – though my words will not be limited, yours may be. Comments will be moderated primarily to avoid the posting of spam, inflammatory insults towards other commenters, and unnecessary profanity (though all necessary profanity will be retained).