my baum shelter

We had a wonderful first Christmas with babyBaum.

It was a white Christmas which caused us to be apart from the rest of our family on Christmas Eve, but it was fun watching the snow come down with babyBaum.

The Deardorff family has a tradition spanning three generations of eating out at a Chinese restaurant on Christmas Eve. Each year at our Chinese dinner, we toast Grandpa Whitlock, my great-grandfather who started the tradition by sending my grandparents money for a Christmas Eve dinner. This year, due to the snow and unfriendly driving conditions, we decided not to make the hour-long drive to my parents on Christmas Eve, but we did brave the roads to eat at our nearest Chinese restaurant. It was just the three of us, but I’m glad we were able to share this tradition with babyBaum. This year, we toasted Grandpa Whitlock and Grandpa D (my dad).

On Christmas morning, we drove to my parents’ house – an hour long drive that took us two hours in the snow and ice.

babyBaum and his Grandpa and Nana who kindly got him a cute Santa suit

Presents! A huge stuffed caterpillar and a rocking horse are just a couple of the fun presents babyBaum received.

Hugs from Grandpa and kisses from Aunt Joni – babyBaum received lots of loving over Christmas!

babyBaum’s cousins received a cool tent for their bunkbed and one cousin kept trying to be like babyBaum and sit in his Bumbo seat.

Another long-standing Deardorff family tradition – a fierce game of Texas Hold ‘em. Yes, we play for money and yes, it can get a little ugly. This year, we had to initiate babyBaum to the ways of poker.

We had a wonderful Cajun-style Christmas dinner prepared by my sister-in-law Joni: Cajun Turducken, Jumbalaya, Shrimp Burgers, Corn Casserole and more.

The day after Christmas, we met up with the other side of our family and were able to hang with the other cousins. Whereas, the Deardorff cousins are all boys, the Myers (Bierbaum) cousins are all girls. So, on day one, this was pretty much his cousins’ reactions to him -

On day two, however, he was showered with cousin love from all the girls who like to “take care of him.” It’s amazing to see the differences between the girls and the boys at such a young age.

Day two we spent with Fred’s sister Anna, her husband David and their girls and David’s sister and her family. We indulged in many hours of Rock Band and Fred has decided that he really missed out on his calling as a drummer. There was a lot of footage taken that we hope does not make it to youtube. We also indulged in way too much food and ended the day with a rousing game of Monopoly – which Fred won.

All in all, we enjoyed a really wonderful Christmas. Hope yours was wonderful, too!

Well, I finally dropped the last batch of Christmas cards in the mail today. That project always takes way longer than I plan for. Here is this year’s Christmas card photo. Can you believe my little baby was so cooperative?

Poor babyBaum is teething in the worst way. Like 4 teeth in two weeks’ time. The fourth one started poking through the gumline this evening and so if my previous post sounds a bit disjointed it might be due to the fact that I kept getting interrupted with cries of pain which needed attending with infant motrin, teething tablets, and rocking.

And, then, while rocking babyBaum and approaching the crib to lay him back down, he started pushing away at me. At first I thought he was perhaps fighting because he knew I was about to lay him down and leave the room. So, I decided to rock him a bit longer. But, it became clear that he was actually pushing me away. While awake. As in, he didn’t want me to rock him to a dead sleep and appeared to want to be placed willingly in his crib awake. So, I put him down in the crib and you know what he did? He rolled over onto his side, closed his eyes and fell asleep. And then Fred was awakened through the baby monitor by the thud! sound my body made when it fainted dead away right there beside the crib.

Tonight my heart is so full.  I really love Christmas time and it has such great meaning for me. Our church celebrates Christmas better than any other church I’ve ever attended. Not that it’s a competition – because you know, I’m sure there are rules against churches competing against one another. That just seems like something God would probably disapprove of.

But, if God did allow competitions, I don’t know how he couldn’t award first place to Broadway Baptist. Though it’s a Baptist church, the worship style is much more liturgical than most Baptist churches I’m familiar with, at least those here in the South/Southwest. Fred and I instantly fell in love with the church the first time we visited – the huge vaulted sanctuary, the stained glass windows – it is a building made to invoke sacred, thoughtful worship. Very few churches are made that way anymore and frankly very few ones that were made this way are still standing or full on Sunday mornings. I never realized how a sanctuary specifically designed for sacred worship could really impact your church experience. There are no praise bands; instead, we have a 10,000+ pipe organ and we sing centuries-old hymns. Worshipping here has completely changed my Sunday morning experience.

Broadway’s services focus on the sacredness of God – a focused intention that I didn’t quite pick up on the first Sunday we visited. After the sermon, the church participates in what is called a Discipline of Silence. It’s stated quite clearly in the bulletin – which I had not read. So, our first Sunday, after an excellent sermon by Brett Younger who sadly is no longer at the church, he took his seat and . . . nothing. After about 20? 30? seconds, I leaned over and whispered to Fred, “I think whoever is supposed to speak next forgot.” He just gave me that annoyed, “be quiet” look that I sometimes (okay, oftentimes) get from him. I waited for what must have been another 60 seconds – which really is quite a long time if you’re just sitting there in absolute silence. “Seriously, you would think the pastor would get back up once it’s clear the other guy forgot it’s his turn.” Exasperated, Fred flipped through his bulletin and pointed to the bolded heading, “Discipline of Silence” and gave me a sterner look that said, “now, would you please be quiet?” For those of you who know me well, you know it’s really no wonder that this practice was a hard one for me to embrace.

I loved every single thing about the worship service at Broadway except that Discipline of Silence. First, it is really long – I mean like 2-3 minutes long. And, second, there is no introduction – no, “now please bow your heads” or anything. The pastor just ends his sermon and sits down. Some people bow their heads, most just stare ahead or above or at the windows. I prefer more direction than that. Third, you can hear people fidgeting, coughing, all the sounds you would hear if there was suddenly no other sound in a church sanctuary. Fourth, me and silence have always had what you would call a rocky relationship. I’m a do-er and talker to the core. Being still is something that always sounded good but not something I’ve ever really practiced. I remember for the first several weeks telling Fred that while I loved everything else about their services, I wasn’t too sure I would ever embrace the whole silence thing. He just smiled and nodded – he doesn’t have the same issues with silence that I do. And, much to my surprise, after about six weeks, I found myself really embracing those minutes of silence and solitude and reflection. And after a few more weeks, it actually felt like only 2 minutes of silence instead of 20 minutes of silence. And after a few more weeks, I really started looking forward to those moments. They are now one of my favorite parts of the service. If you’re reading this, that’s in no way a commentary on the sermon portion of the service, Brent!

And all this really thoughtful, intentional focus on the sacredness of God is really evident during Christmas. We celebrate the Advent and each week all the lights were turned off as the Advent candles were lit. Members of our congregation wrote devotionals and put them all together so that we had an Advent Devotional each of the 28 days of Advent (which was conveniently also disseminated daily on facebook). Our gifted pastor, amazing musicians, and tremendous choir backed up by the aforementioned organ all came together - each verse recited, prayer offered, and song sung picked intentionally to create an atmosphere of preparation and expectant waiting of Christ’s birth with the rhythm of the worship service slowly picking up pace each week as we approach Christmas day. So, this week, the last Advent Sunday of this Christmas season was such a joyful experience with just a hint of restraint. Such meaning in the style and art of our worship. Such joy in things like silence and rhythm and intentional worship. These are things I never really experienced/noticed before attending this church and who knows? Maybe practicing that whole Discipline of Silence has made me more receptive to noticing and celebrating in such simple, yet powerful ways.

To all of you, whether you celebrate Christmas or not, I wish you a holiday season filled with love, hope, and joy!

So, after quizzing all my shutterbug friends and polling any and every one who has an opinion on cameras, I purchased my first DSLR – the Nikon D3000 (which has replaced the D40). After getting a lot of advice from family members, friends, and commenters, I narrowed the decision to two cameras – the D3000 and the Canon XSi. After trying them both out at the camera store, I chose the D3000 mostly because I liked the feel of it and it seemed very user friendly. Plus, the D3000 was cheaper.

Talk about being able to take great photos right out of the box! Well, except that I had to make a dash to Target to buy a memory card because who knew that a $500 camera did not automatically include a memory card??? But, talk about a camera being able to take great photos right out of the box after you’ve driven to Target, and bought then installed a memory card! Just look at these photos of babyBaum – doesn’t he look like he belongs in a catalog (minus the boogers hanging out of his nose)? NONE of these photos were edited – can you believe it? 

I even felt ambitious enough to take our Christmas Card pictures of babyBaum today all by myself (Fred had to work). And, they turned out great! I never would have been able to capture the pictures I got today with my old point and shoot. So, thanks to all of you who gave me great recommendations – I’m so thrilled and have a feeling I will be sharing many more photos here from now on!  Here are a couple of more pics from today (I’ll post our Christmas Card photos later) ~

So, after babyBaum arrived in our world, one of the hardest adjustments to make was how much longer simple tasks took. A trip to the grocery store that used to take 30 minutes once took 90 minutes because of the diaper changes, bottle feeding and soothing of grumpiness that had to take place within the walls of the store. Once, I literally collapsed onto a chair in the furniture department at Target and fed him his bottle right there. And, before anyone comments, yes, I always fed him right before leaving. Let’s just say that in the first five months of his life, babyBaum was the most unpredictable being on the planet. There was no way to time a trip to the store well. You just went and sometimes it worked out; other times, you admitted defeat and left your half-full grocery cart in the store and retreated home empty-handed.

Now that babyBaum is older and so much more predictable (something I’m continually thankful for), trips to the store are way more manageable. I can time them so that no diaper changes or feedings will be an issue and assuming the miracle of a nap has taken place at some point that day, we are golden! We can spend three hours straight running errands on those days (and actually get three hours’ worth of errand running done).

The only complication now is all the chatting my baby forces me to do with everyone – and by everyone, I mean probably 50% of all the people we pass. That might not sound like a lot of people, but think about it for a minute. If you had to stop and talk to 50% of the people you walk by in your life everyday – that would add up to a hell of a lot of people. I’m pretty friendly and extroverted but there is a limit to talking that even I feel must be in place.

At first I thought it was because babyBaum was just so cute (what can I say, I’m a biased mom!). But, I’ve come to realize that it’s because he engages with everyone around him. He studies their faces intently and waves and “talks” to them. He tries to share his snacks or toys with them and well, on top of that, he is pretty darn cute if I do say so myself. So, what’s a stranger to do? How do you not respond to this adorable baby initiating a conversation with you?

 But, it does make it difficult to get things done. Yesterday, for example – at the grocery store we were stopped by fourteen people who wanted to chat. Not just say “hi” to babyBaum but converse with me about how old he is, how cute he is, how they can’t believe he is so alert, what is his name, and then try to get him to wave again to them, give them high-fives, and more. FOURTEEN PEOPLE! If they were just saying hi to him or saying “what a cute baby” as they passed us, that would be manageable. But, to engage in five-minute conversations with fourteen strangers while trying to shop is a bit much. At the check-out line, at babyBaum’s initiation, I had conversations with five more people from three different lanes. As we were walking out, the cashier said to babyBaum, “Are you through holding court, now?”

I know there are worst things to suffer in life – I actually like talking to people with whom I wouldn’t otherwise converse. But, I think that most people missed the rule that having a baby present doesn’t give you carte blanche to disregard any and all boundaries. The other day, I met a friend at Starbucks and we could barely get any conversation in because everyone around us kept interrupting to talk to babyBaum or ask me a question about him. My friend and I were clearly trying to talk to one another, but that in no way stopped multiple people from interrupting us to engage with him. I even tried just ignoring them (during the times they were talking to him, not me) but that is really difficult to do without, ironically, feeling rude.

And, incidentally, I’m always taken aback at how many people ask babyBaum questions directly. It’s become a pet peeve of mine. I mean it is obvious that he can’t answer you and really you are just asking me, so at least look at me. I feel a little foolish answering for him and conversing with you when you are looking at him the entire time and not me. “How old are you, little one?” “He’s ten months old.” “You look so big for your age! You sure are a cutie.” “Um, thanks.”“What is your name?” Ugg – it makes me feel like I should put my hand in the back of his head and treat him like my dummy. But, I digress.

Despite all the annoyances that come along with it, I actually really love this aspect of babyBaum’s personality. Mostly because it’s so fun to see him – his own little self and personality already fully formed. It reinforces a strong belief I’ve always held – that babies arrive in this world as fully-formed beings deserving of their own respect as participants in this world and are not just extensions of their parents. And, while I would love whatever personality traits he had, I really, really love his intensity, that he is a such a student of the world around him, and his love of people and talking to people.

But, maybe we could work out some signal for when mommy is in a hurry and you could start fussing or something so we can get out of the store quicker? I’m just sayin’.

If I had a penny for every time a nursery worker, daycare provider, family member or friend said to us, “I’ve never seen a baby fight sleep like this before,” when describing babyBaum, we could easily retire and pay for many of you to retire, too. Many of these people, especially ones who have taken care of children for 20, 30 plus years usually flash a pacifying smile our way when we try to describe the difficulties with putting our child to sleep. “Yes, yes, I’m sure we’ll manage,” they say sweetly while smiling a smile that says, “You new parents are so cute – worrying over everything and convinced no one else can take care of your baby.” We smile back in return. Only our smile is saying something like, “We wish we could communicate to you what you’re getting yourself into.”

You know how Presidents always look like they’ve aged 20 years in the 1 or 2 terms they’ve been in office? How there are way more gray hairs and they just look more gaunt and haggard? It’s much the same process that occurs when we drop off babyBaum with someone new at the church nursery or with a family member or friend for the first time. We always return to someone who visibly looks older, more worn down. And, usually, before we can even get fully through the door comes the all too familiar choruses of ~

“When you said he fights sleep, I didn’t believe you.”

“I’ve never seen a baby fight sleep like this before.”

“I mean, I would be rocking him for 30 minutes and he would be fighting it and then finally close his eyes, then two seconds later pop his eyes wide open! Really. And he did that over and over again for two hours.” (This always makes us laugh because it’s usually conveyed to us as if we will not believe this behavior took place even though we tried to tell them at the beginning that this is what exactly would happen.)

“Are you sure he’s human?” (Okay, no one has ever asked this before – not out loud, anyway, but they sure have looked at him like he was not of this world when describing his hate-hate relationship with sleep.)

My poor mother (hi Nana!) is so worried that babyBaum has turned us off from having more children (and thus depriving her of more grandbabies) that she mentions to me almost weekly now (used to be daily in those dark early days) – “You know this isn’t normal, right? You know babies aren’t like this – he’s just an anomaly. You couldn’t possibly have another one that fights sleep like he does. I mean, what are the odds?”

And therein lies the rub. See, I have a pretty good track record for beating the odds and not in a lottery winning kind of way. No, more in a getting struck by lightening twice kind of way. I’ve engaged in all types of self-analysis over the years to try and figure this out – bad karma? not praying hard enough? taking too much delight in recounting my misfortune in humorous (and yes, Cliff, witty!) ways? Who knows. I’m old enough to accept this is my lot in life and wise enough to know that I am EXACTLY the person who would get blessed with two, three, or more babies who treat sleep like the plague.

The problem is that babyBaum is an incredibly ALERT baby. Like high alert. Like high, high, high alert. Everything engages him. Forget toys with lightshows and musical numbers. All this baby needs to be energized and fully engaged with the world around him is a darkened room with four walls. And he is not only awake – he is able to talk to his monkey while finding different noises he can make on the crib rail when pushing on it while seeing how many fingers he can stick through the crib rails at once while also seeing how far he can get the other arm or one of his legs through another crib rail kind of awake. The boy just doesn’t turn off. Ever.

And, while this created much sleep deprivation for him (and consequently, us) in his early days and still now, the older he becomes, the more complicated problems we face as a result of his ability to be stimulated by any and every thing in the world around him. For one thing, my precious babyBaum forces me to talk to strangers all day long and is also now the dreaded “biter” at daycare. But, those are stories for another day.

Our little babyBaum is changing so much every day that it really is hard to keep up with everything. I feel like I should have a camera strapped to me at all times. Our little baby boy who, less than two months ago, couldn’t crawl if his little life depended on it is on the verge of walking – WALKING. Hello milestone, goodbye life.

He walks with his walker toy without any help from us and today without warning tried to take his first step without holding onto anyone or anything. He tried to take a step from his walker toy to the ottoman and fell hard on his bum in the process. (But, he didn’t cry because Fred is teaching him to be a manly boy. Totally kidding.)

He mimics our every facial expression, sound, and movement. He says mama and means me, he says dada and means Fred, he says ba-ba when he waves (for bye-bye), and he shakes his head for no. He claps and waves when the baby in his favorite book claps and waves. And, today, he rolled his eyes at Fred when daddy was kissing on him too much for his liking. He has been such a little sponge these past several months and now suddenly, all that information is coming out at us. And while it is so much fun watching him mimic us and learn how to do and say new things through imitation, it’s a little unsettling as well. After all, I think we can all guess who he got the eye-rolling from!

These three videos were all shot this weekend (they’re all short). This is babyBaum with his daddy:

[kaltura-widget wid="miprpeo7pc" width="410" height="364" addpermission="3" editpermission="3" /]

Here’s babyBaum walking with his new walker toy. It has woodpeckers that click-clack when he walks. I point this out for reasons that will become obvious during the next video. Though he walked with it all weekend, he became quite distracted when I pulled out the video camera. This was the best I could get.[kaltura-widget wid="9sha1cp4t4" width="410" height="364" addpermission="3" editpermission="3" /]

Just hours after his first walk with the woodpeckers, babyBaum started doing this:[kaltura-widget wid="xd7pzqx4bg" width="410" height="364" addpermission="3" editpermission="3" /]

See? Sponge.

I am on the lookout for a really nice fast-shooting (is that even the right term?) camera. I want a high-quality digital and most importantly fast-shooting. Ever since babyBaum came along, I have learned that having a point-and-shoot camera is just about the worst type of camera to capture great moments. In the time it takes the automatic red-eye diffuser and auto-focus and auto-flash features to engage (about 3 seconds), the great moment is over. I want a camera where I can just keep shooting and, thus, raise exponentially my chances of getting a good shot of babyBaum actually looking at the camera rather than having just turned away from the camera.

So, I’m taking any and all camera advice – what do you use or recommend? I’m definitely what you would consider an amateur photographer but fairly technilogically savvy. I don’t mind a learning curve but I don’t want my photo-taking to be a complicated process. I’d also like to be able to transfer pics to the computer easily. I don’t mind switching out lenses occasionally (like for action shots) but would like a camera that has one reliable lens (either built in or one that you attach) for taking good shots.

Cameras that have been recommended so far are the CanonXS and CanonXSi. I don’t mind spending money if it’s a high-quality camera that will last through the years and is a good investment. But, I also don’t want to spend $1,000 either, unless it can also give me a nightly footrub. So, which camera should I ask for this Christmas?

Sorry for such a long absence – preparing for Thanksgiving overwhelmed me a bit. But, I’m back – admit it, you missed me!

We live in the neighborhood surrounding TCU. We love our neighborhood and being so close to a college campus. And while I’m thrilled TCU is doing so well in football this season (currently ranked #4 – Go frogs!), there’s a big part of me that wishes their undefeated season could’ve occurred last year. See, almost all of their home games end after babyBaum has gone to bed and when they win, we have fireworks going off in our backyard. Fireworks = Crying Baby.

But, one of the nice things about having TCU in our backyard is all of the great resources they have to offer the community – like Baby Music classes. That’s right, today babyBaum finished his first college course – Baby Music 101 at TCU. I have to admit Fred and I chuckled when we first enrolled him at the beginning of the semester because they have you register under the child’s name and receiving a class syllabus and parking pass in your five-month old’s name is pretty funny. I enrolled in the class primarily because I’m not a very good SAHM and do much better with taking babyBaum out of the house. Have I mentioned that Target is our second home?

Surprisingly, I really have enjoyed it and so has babyBaum. At Thanksgiving, our family was amazed when babyBaum would dance to music that would come on during the commercials of the football games. I was proud of my little collegiate scholar – our TCU tuition money had not gone to waste! Seriously, though, it’s been a fun way to pass the time once a week and next semester we are taking the more advanced Baby Music Class – it’s a class for Babies and Toddlers.

Each week this past semester, Fred would ask me how the class went and what babyBaum did. Every week, I would describe what we did and then tell him about the instrument portion of the class. The teachers would pass out baby-sized instruments (maracas, finger cymbals, shakers, etc.) to each baby. Even though babyBaum was the oldest baby in the class, without fail each week, all the other babies would be shaking or banging their instruments while babyBaum would be - well, we prefer to call it - ”chewing” on his. A more appropriate descriptor might be “inhaling,” “devouring,” or, if we’re honest, something akin to that which a wild bear does upon finding his first meal after being deprived of food during the winter hibernation. Everything babyBaum comes in contact with doesn’t just get placed into his mouth - it is shoved into his mouth as if the simultaneous shoving/inhaling/grunting motion is what provides him with oxygen to breathe. Like he’s a junkie going through withdrawal and has just been given a heroin-dipped rattle.

So, today, during our last class of the semester, we were permitted to take pictures during class. And, every picture went something like this: